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A New High
Our
primary purpose is to carry the message of recovery to the addict
who still suffers.
One way we do this is by holding meetings in Hospitals and
Institutions for people who are not able to attend outside meetings.
Institutions served may include, but not be limited to, correctional
facilities, sanitariums, de-tox units, juvenile detention centers,
half-way houses and shelters; either governmental or private.
Confinement may be voluntary or involutary.
Through working with others in H & I's, members of Cocaine Anonymous
share their experience, strength and hope. Below are some of our
feelings about out H & I experiences.
Remembering Where We Came From
"My first experience with doing H & I work was when I had 90 days
sober and went to speak on a panel at a hospital. I was sure I had
nothing to offer, nothing to say. I sat there listening to the
speakers before me and knew they had said everything I wanted to
say. When it was my turn, I just opened my mouth and let the words
pour out. I not only said what someone in the room needed to hear,
but things that I needed to hear.
"When the meeting was over, I spent some time talking to the
patients and shared some more of my hope, faith and courage. I left
that meeting feeling a sense of happiness and joy I never felt
before. I still feel that high whenever I speak on a panel,
especially to a group of adolescents.
``H & I helps me to remember where I came from. It also allows me to
watch the miracle of recovery change others and in doing so, it
allows me to change myself. There are no words that can describe the
feeling inside when someone I first met at an H & I panel gets
his/her first year token."
"Being a recovering addict, the most dangerous thing for me is to
forget that I am an addict or to think that I can use successfully,
but that is exactly what my addiction tries to get me to believe.
Whenever I go into a detox meeting, I am always reminded of the
simple truth of addiction and its consequences. This helps me to
stay sober and to be grateful for my recovery. It was passed through
this method to me, and I feel blessed to be able to carry on the
tradition."
Gratitude
"Leaving the correctional facility, I feel ecstatic; grateful for
the privilege of being a vehicle of my Higher Power and hopeful that
a seed may have been planted in the mind of even one still-suffering
addict. I share the miracle of my recovery and how Cocaine Anonymous
has changed my life; H & I service work helps me to stay clean and
sober today. This is one of the ways it works for me. Through
service in H & I, my gratitude is multiplied."
"As a parent, when I leave a youth lockdown facility, I thank God
that it wasn't one of my children listening to the panel. Most of
all, I feel grateful that I am sober and carrying the message of
C.A. to those who are not so fortunate."
"My reason for H & I is a selfish one. To stay clean and remain
grateful for what I have. It offers me a feeling of usefulness to
God and to mankind."
"The look in the patient's eyes, the sweat on their foreheads and on
the palms of their hands; they're not sure if they can stay sober
another day. That makes you feel grateful because when the meeting
is over, you're going home. That's the only difference between you
and them."
"Gratitude...Doors opening instead of closing, being able to give it
away the hunger for recovery. The newcomer in a hospital or
institution... gives me humility and constant realization of hope."
Hope
"It is my belief that sharing my experience, strength and hope
through H & I, I hope that I may in some small way help another
suffering addict see a glimmer of hope and a better way of life. But
for the grace of God... there go I."
"When I speak on an H & I; I panel, the feeling that something
special is going on is immediate. The patients' or inmates' eyes
light up as I'm telling my story. They've been where I've been and
have felt what I've felt... hopelessness. Now they're sitting in a
hospital or jail, wondering 'Where do I go from here?' As I share
the path my recovery has taken, I see at times the look of hope
re-enter their faces. As they think 'Maybe this will work for me,
too.' I feel great, sharing my hope, faith and courage with the
addicts who need it most."
A New High from H & I
"What do I get out of H & I? Being affiliated with H & I has given
me a broader outlook on who I am as a person, because I have to give
it away to keep it. Just being able to walk in and out of
institutions is a blessing."
"During my 26 years that I used on a daily basis, I never
experienced the euphoria that I enjoyed last month.
"While attending a C.A. panel two years ago in a center for the
Department of Corrections, I observed a new inmate in complete
denial of his disease. During the next year and a half, I received
the gift of watching this man grow through the Twelve Steps. He was
released to a half-way house where C.A. holds another panel, and
both of us participated on that panel. Last month, he attended the H
& I committee meeting and was placed on a panel that is going back
to the same jail in which we met. That same night, he picked up his
18-month chip.
"When people look at me today, laughing and cheerful,
many ask me what I'm up to. My response is consistently, 'I'm
working with others.'
"If you like what you've read here, identify with the feelings being
shared, and want to feel similar feelings, you can attend your local
H & I committee meeting and participate in your own recovery by
helping others.
Cocaine Anonymous "We're Here and We're Free"
Approved Literature Cocaine Anonymous World Services Inc. ©
2000
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